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#41 cwbyfan88

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Posted 23 January 2017 - 03:15 PM

Whatever you do, do it after careful consideration. Maybe go on a cruise yourself. Hell, I'd make her bring a girl home for me, just to even things up.


Yeah. I thought about doing that when I go on a a trip to Vermont with my boys. But I don't know if it would help.

#42 chrispierce

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Posted 23 January 2017 - 04:55 PM

Complaint: why can't wives go on cruises and not cheat on you?

Dude..dissolve that marriage and fast. She will do it again,and there's more than that on top of it. You're a fool if you try to stick it out,and there's a woman out there who you're supposed to be with,but you can't see it yet. I guarantee you,your wife will want a divorce at some point down the road. Pull that tooth now....and move on with your life. You'll still see and love your kid,so don't worry about that,but you can't let your heart be a welcome mat. Protect it at all costs.
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#43 Runwildboys

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Posted 23 January 2017 - 05:25 PM

Dude..dissolve that marriage and fast. She will do it again,and there's more than that on top of it. You're a fool if you try to stick it out,and there's a woman out there who you're supposed to be with,but you can't see it yet. I guarantee you,your wife will want a divorce at some point down the road. Pull that tooth now....and move on with your life. You'll still see and love your kid,so don't worry about that,but you can't let your heart be a welcome mat. Protect it at all costs.

Hold on there, homeless dude. Maybe life coaching isn't your strong suit! :D
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#44 Runwildboys

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Posted 23 January 2017 - 05:28 PM

Yeah. I thought about doing that when I go on a a trip to Vermont with my boys. But I don't know if it would help.

No, it won't, I was just being sardonic. I don't know what would help, to the best of my knowledge, I've never been in that situation.
I think if you have any thoughts of staying with her, you should see a therapist, then a couple's therapist.
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#45 karmaisabeautifulthing

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Posted 23 January 2017 - 05:48 PM

Lol. You do have your problems. Pretty much all vehicles are like that. Going through a car wash is the best way 2 get most of it. Best not to collect it. Run it through car wash the next dry day.😊

Sadly, pickup trucks collect the stuff in places where you can't get to it........kinda like sand, after sex on the beach.


 
 
 

#46 cwbyfan88

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Posted 23 January 2017 - 08:26 PM

No, it won't, I was just being sardonic. I don't know what would help, to the best of my knowledge, I've never been in that situation.
I think if you have any thoughts of staying with her, you should see a therapist, then a couple's therapist.


Yeah she is begging me to go see a couple's therapist. She is begging me to stay together. I love her more than anything in this world. But the pain is too hard to handle. Every time I look at her I'm reminded of what she did.

#47 cwbyfan88

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Posted 23 January 2017 - 08:30 PM

Dude..dissolve that marriage and fast. She will do it again,and there's more than that on top of it. You're a fool if you try to stick it out,and there's a woman out there who you're supposed to be with,but you can't see it yet. I guarantee you,your wife will want a divorce at some point down the road. Pull that tooth now....and move on with your life. You'll still see and love your kid,so don't worry about that,but you can't let your heart be a welcome mat. Protect it at all costs.


Yeah the saying once a cheater always a cheater is around for a reason I guess. I grew up in a family where my mother and father didn't love each other anymore but stayed together for our sake. We were too innocent to catch on but they had been sleeping in separate bedrooms for a majority of our lives. I might build a separate living quarters above my garage just so that my son still has me around every day of his life. I don't know. This is not something I ever envisioned happening especially from her.

#48 Deathmonkey

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Posted 23 January 2017 - 09:33 PM

Yeah the saying once a cheater always a cheater is around for a reason I guess. I grew up in a family where my mother and father didn't love each other anymore but stayed together for our sake. We were too innocent to catch on but they had been sleeping in separate bedrooms for a majority of our lives. I might build a separate living quarters above my garage just so that my son still has me around every day of his life. I don't know. This is not something I ever envisioned happening especially from her.

 

Do you think that maybe you subconsciously chose someone that would result in a similar relationship to your parents? It happens all of the time. You can say that you were clueless as a child about it, but children pick up a lot more than you think, consciously or not.  

 

Counseling is the best thing for you both even if you eventually decide to separate from her. That way you can at least say you tried, you know?  Let her know that you'll try, but what she did may have been too much.  You have to not only think about what's mentally healthiest not only for you, but for your son.  I guarantee that he would be better off living between two loving homes than one loveless one.  But if you repair things with your wife and rebuild that relationship, obviously that's the best case scenario for him. If that isn't possible, he will be fine as long as he isn't used as a weapon against a parent and is provided with what he needs.

 

Truly forgiving means eventually forgetting and not holding it over someone's head forever.  That's a tall order considering what she did.  It's up to you to decide if it's something you want to work toward or not. You will need help either way.  


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#49 cwbyfan88

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Posted 23 January 2017 - 09:39 PM

Do you think that maybe you subconsciously chose someone that would result in a similar relationship to your parents? It happens all of the time. You can say that you were clueless as a child about it, but children pick up a lot more than you think, consciously or not.

Counseling is the best thing for you both even if you eventually decide to separate from her. That way you can at least say you tried, you know? Let her know that you'll try, but what she did may have been too much. You have to not only think about what's mentally healthiest not only for you, but for your son. I guarantee that he would be better off living between two loving homes than one loveless one. But if you repair things with your wife and rebuild that relationship, obviously that's the best case scenario for him. If that isn't possible, he will be fine as long as he isn't used as a weapon against a parent and is provided with what he needs.

Truly forgiving means eventually forgetting and not holding it over someone's head forever. That's a tall order considering what she did. It's up to you to decide if it's something you want to work toward or not. You will need help either way.


I didn't know it when I chose to marry her. But she is a spitting image of my mother. In how she acts and thinks. My mother is the reason my parents didn't get along. I guess you are right.
As far as counseling goes. I will take your advice. I will do that first before I make a decision on divorce.
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#50 Runwildboys

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Posted 23 January 2017 - 10:37 PM

I didn't know it when I chose to marry her. But she is a spitting image of my mother. In how she acts and thinks. My mother is the reason my parents didn't get along. I guess you are right.
As far as counseling goes. I will take your advice. I will do that first before I make a decision on divorce.

Personally, I'd suggest you go see a therapist on your own, just to get an honest vision of what you really want, before you see a couple's counselor. 


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#51 cwbyfan88

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Posted 23 January 2017 - 10:57 PM

Personally, I'd suggest you go see a therapist on your own, just to get an honest vision of what you really want, before you see a couple's counselor.


That's good advice as well. I will try that first. In the meantime it's going to be mad awkward in this house 😯

#52 Runwildboys

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Posted 23 January 2017 - 11:12 PM

That's good advice as well. I will try that first. In the meantime it's going to be mad awkward in this house

I'm sure it is, brother.  I feel for you, and I hope everything works out for you!  Hey, if you want, you can meet me at Hooters in Manchester on Friday, and the girls will take your mind off it for a while!  


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#53 chrispierce

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Posted 23 January 2017 - 11:27 PM

Yeah the saying once a cheater always a cheater is around for a reason I guess. I grew up in a family where my mother and father didn't love each other anymore but stayed together for our sake. We were too innocent to catch on but they had been sleeping in separate bedrooms for a majority of our lives. I might build a separate living quarters above my garage just so that my son still has me around every day of his life. I don't know. This is not something I ever envisioned happening especially from her.

No,it's more to do with you guys being young. I'm not bashing her,I'm just giving you the cold hard truth on things because I've been through it,done it,and know how these situations play out at the poker table. You're going to get hurt,and I don't care what people say...there's no fixing it once the genie is out the bottle. Protect your heart amigo,and do it now,or you'll be sorry later on.
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#54 Juggernaut

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Posted 24 January 2017 - 12:51 AM

He looks just like me. Spitting image. Thats one thing I would rather just not know. I would like to believe he is mine.

 

The DNA test would be for the child as well because many diseases that can afflict us have genetic predisposition.


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#55 Juggernaut

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Posted 24 January 2017 - 12:56 AM

No, it won't, I was just being sardonic. I don't know what would help, to the best of my knowledge, I've never been in that situation.
I think if you have any thoughts of staying with her, you should see a therapist, then a couple's therapist.

 

I believe Godfather has been in that situation, cwbyfan88 could PM him about it and get his experienced advice.


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#56 chrispierce

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Posted 24 January 2017 - 01:15 AM

Yeah she is begging me to go see a couple's therapist. She is begging me to stay together. I love her more than anything in this world. But the pain is too hard to handle. Every time I look at her I'm reminded of what she did.

"Let's go to counciling" Looool! DON'T!! It's not for you,it's for HER!!..."We're having problems" as a way to rationalize things to make it easier on her,implying YOU are part of the problem,but that's not it at all. It's HER,and the desires and wants SHE'S having that's the issue. See,women must have closure on THEIR terms only ....don't be a jackass and let her have it,ever. Once you do....you're a sitting duck,and will get left holding the bag. Move on bro,it's over. There's someone out there you're already on a path to be with,but you can't see it yet. I can tell you're a nice guy,and that's why I'm giving you the straight dope on things. Trust me...don't drink from the grail of heartache. It's poison,do not drink it.

#57 Runwildboys

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Posted 24 January 2017 - 03:27 AM

"Let's go to counciling" Looool! DON'T!! It's not for you,it's for HER!!..."We're having problems" as a way to rationalize things to make it easier on her,implying YOU are part of the problem,but that's not it at all. It's HER,and the desires and wants SHE'S having that's the issue. See,women must have closure on THEIR terms only ....don't be a jackass and let her have it,ever. Once you do....you're a sitting duck,and will get left holding the bag. Move on bro,it's over. There's someone out there you're already on a path to be with,but you can't see it yet. I can tell you're a nice guy,and that's why I'm giving you the straight dope on things. Trust me...don't drink from the grail of heartache. It's poison,do not drink it.

That's why I suggest going to a therapist on his own, before deciding if he wants to go to couple's therapy.  He may be too confused and hurt to know what he really wants and what's best for him and his son.  Going to therapy with her might make him think he needs to do something that's really only better for her.  You do have a point, in that couple's therapy seems to be in the best interest of the woman, most of the time, at least from what I've seen.  


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#58 chrispierce

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Posted 24 January 2017 - 04:59 AM

That's why I suggest going to a therapist on his own, before deciding if he wants to go to couple's therapy. He may be too confused and hurt to know what he really wants and what's best for him and his son. Going to therapy with her might make him think he needs to do something that's really only better for her. You do have a point, in that couple's therapy seems to be in the best interest of the woman, most of the time, at least from what I've seen.

He really doesn't need one,unless it's someone who's going to give him the brutal truth of matters,and not someone who's going to try and mend their relationship back together. That vase has been broken.and no amount of glue will make it new again. Marriage counsel is not for after,but for pre-marriage. That's the mistake people make. There's a whole host of things people don't take into consideration when joining in the union of matrimony. It's really one of life's most serious matters,and people only base their decisions on feelings when they're "in love" and on the emotions at the time. Many a great King and kingdom has befallen due to the honey of a women's lips. It's always been mans biggest weakness. Oh how she told him years ago,or even a month ago how much she loved him,and would never hurt him,or have an affair. Ha!! Total BS. She went on that cruise,so she could have a side dish at the salad bar,and her friends knew about it too,and there's ALWAYS that one rotten girlfriend who encouraged it. Anybody think she went without him to see showtunes on a boat? Not a chance. My advice,is don't peel back the layers,because he won't like what he finds. Best to move out,get settled elsewhere,and keep things at a friendly distance. They'll be friends one day it sounds like,but he'll never have peace of mind if he stays and continues this. I already know the games his mind is playing on him,and the back and forth talks he's having with himself in the car. It's a no win situation,and he needs to heal which takes a really long time,and distance from her.
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#59 Juggernaut

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Posted 24 January 2017 - 10:26 AM

Complaint: Internet service providers might be allowed to legally decrease access to certain content and applications because of it's source, and they'll be able to favor or totally block particular products or websites soon.


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#60 sulu1701

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Posted 24 January 2017 - 06:00 PM

Complaint: Internet service providers might be allowed to legally decrease access to certain content and applications because of it's source, and they'll be able to favor or totally block particular products or websites soon.

Yeah I read that, courtesy of the Red Herring, he's not draining the swamp, he's filling it with gators


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